YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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