dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
