Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
