There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
