I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
