she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
