It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
