it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
The air taste purple.
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