as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
nutella sex= disaster
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize
