He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
