dude i'm inner monologue high
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
