so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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