Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
