sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
