he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
