She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
There r osticjed everywhere
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
