i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
be right there i have to get my cape
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize