Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
