This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
should my penis look like a turkey
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
