I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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