I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
