One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
jump out the window naked night went bad
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
