Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
