It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
