whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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