is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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