i would punch a child for taco bell
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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