Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
