You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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