i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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