I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
