Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
