I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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