margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I look better un-naked...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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