Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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