Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
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