Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
