Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
