you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
