What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize