Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
