We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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