Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize