Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
