It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
