Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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