Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
