what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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