Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
