Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
