Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Randomize
