arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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