It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
