of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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