So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
you would pick up someone in the library
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
