dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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