I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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