question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
she smelled like a LAN party
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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