is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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