At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
